This is hard for me to write, and I may take it down almost as soon as I post it. But I want to write it down anyway, maybe just to gather my thoughts.
Weilong has been diagnosed with "failure to thrive". He is way too small for an 8 yr old. He eats well, but isn't growing like he should. We have had him tested for everything and are thankful that all the tests have come back negative. We have an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist next month to see if he might need growth hormone.
Our pediatrician said failure to thrive is usually caused by emotional stress or neglect. We know that WL was not neglected. He lived with his parents until they both passed away when he was about four and a half years old. He remembers them well, and loves them. Today he told me that he dreams about them every night. He misses them terribly.
What I'm writing now is exactly what WL told me, it is not documented in any of his paperwork. His parents death is, but not the rest. His mother passed away first. He says she had a high fever, but he doesn't know the cause of death. His father, whom WL says was a school teacher passed away 3 months later. WL says his father cried so much when his mother died and was so sad. But he does not know what his father died of. He says that before he died, his father took him to live with his grandparents. He says his father told his grandfather to take him to the orphanage. Apparently his grandparents were old and not able to care for him. He said his father and grandfather were both crying and that his grandfather agreed to take him to the orphanage after his father died.
For a while his grandparents tried to keep him, but his grandmother passed away. WL said that the orphanage director came to get him at his grandfather's small house, and that he clung to his grandfather and begged to stay. He said he cried and cried and so did the grandfather. He said the orphanage director promised that he would bring WL back to visit the grandfather. According to the paperwork, WL came to the orphanage about a year after his father died.
When WL found out that he was going to be adopted, one of the nannies drove to the grandfather's house. WL was so excited because he wanted to see his grandfather. But something awful had happened. His grandfather had died also. WL says that he was the only one in his family left alive. He was so sad. He told me that he cried and cried and couldn't eat for days. He said the orphanage director kept urging him to eat and telling him that he was going to get to come to America.
Weilong had told me this in bits and pieces before today. I don't think he is making any of it up, I believe every word. The paperwork says he was kept by an old man after his father died and the surname of the old man is the same as Weilong's. And of course the death of his parents is documented.
Tonight Gary went to a meeting at church and I took the kids and Hannah to Taco Bueno for supper. We were all sitting around talking and suddenly Weilong started telling us his story. He cried a little bit during the telling, and the girls and I couldn't help but cry too. There weren't many people in the restaurant so we did have some privacy. It was the most heart-wrenching hour I believe I've ever had. Weifu expressed surprise that we were crying, I guess they are used to hearing such tragic details in the lives of little children.
I held Weilong's precious little face between my hands and looked into his sweet little eyes and told him that I love him so much and am so sorry for the loss of his parents. I promised that we would love him and take care of him for the rest of our lives. And I said a silent prayer asking God to let me live long enough to see these precious little ones well into adulthood.
WeiLong has told me before that his parents took him to church sometimes in China. He has told me some things they said that leads me to believe they were Christians. I know that sounds unlikely, but surely not impossible. Tonight I told Weilong that if his parents were indeed Christians he will see them again someday. I tried to explain the best I could about what I believe the Bible teaches about Heaven and how to get there. I think I saw a glimmer of hope in his little eyes.
Could the loss of everyone he loves have caused my precious little boy to have something called "failure to thrive"? If so, can our love for him cause him to "thrive" again? I wish I knew all the answers. All I do know is that we have one very special little boy in our lives.
