WeiLong Remembers.....

This is hard for me to write, and I may take it down almost as soon as I post it. But I want to write it down anyway, maybe just to gather my thoughts.

Weilong has been diagnosed with "failure to thrive". He is way too small for an 8 yr old. He eats well, but isn't growing like he should. We have had him tested for everything and are thankful that all the tests have come back negative. We have an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist next month to see if he might need growth hormone.

Our pediatrician said failure to thrive is usually caused by emotional stress or neglect. We know that WL was not neglected. He lived with his parents until they both passed away when he was about four and a half years old. He remembers them well, and loves them. Today he told me that he dreams about them every night. He misses them terribly.

What I'm writing now is exactly what WL told me, it is not documented in any of his paperwork. His parents death is, but not the rest. His mother passed away first. He says she had a high fever, but he doesn't know the cause of death. His father, whom WL says was a school teacher passed away 3 months later. WL says his father cried so much when his mother died and was so sad. But he does not know what his father died of. He says that before he died, his father took him to live with his grandparents. He says his father told his grandfather to take him to the orphanage. Apparently his grandparents were old and not able to care for him. He said his father and grandfather were both crying and that his grandfather agreed to take him to the orphanage after his father died.

For a while his grandparents tried to keep him, but his grandmother passed away. WL said that the orphanage director came to get him at his grandfather's small house, and that he clung to his grandfather and begged to stay. He said he cried and cried and so did the grandfather. He said the orphanage director promised that he would bring WL back to visit the grandfather. According to the paperwork, WL came to the orphanage about a year after his father died.

When WL found out that he was going to be adopted, one of the nannies drove to the grandfather's house. WL was so excited because he wanted to see his grandfather. But something awful had happened. His grandfather had died also. WL says that he was the only one in his family left alive. He was so sad. He told me that he cried and cried and couldn't eat for days. He said the orphanage director kept urging him to eat and telling him that he was going to get to come to America.

Weilong had told me this in bits and pieces before today. I don't think he is making any of it up, I believe every word. The paperwork says he was kept by an old man after his father died and the surname of the old man is the same as Weilong's. And of course the death of his parents is documented.

Tonight Gary went to a meeting at church and I took the kids and Hannah to Taco Bueno for supper. We were all sitting around talking and suddenly Weilong started telling us his story. He cried a little bit during the telling, and the girls and I couldn't help but cry too. There weren't many people in the restaurant so we did have some privacy. It was the most heart-wrenching hour I believe I've ever had. Weifu expressed surprise that we were crying, I guess they are used to hearing such tragic details in the lives of little children.

I held Weilong's precious little face between my hands and looked into his sweet little eyes and told him that I love him so much and am so sorry for the loss of his parents. I promised that we would love him and take care of him for the rest of our lives. And I said a silent prayer asking God to let me live long enough to see these precious little ones well into adulthood.

WeiLong has told me before that his parents took him to church sometimes in China. He has told me some things they said that leads me to believe they were Christians. I know that sounds unlikely, but surely not impossible. Tonight I told Weilong that if his parents were indeed Christians he will see them again someday. I tried to explain the best I could about what I believe the Bible teaches about Heaven and how to get there. I think I saw a glimmer of hope in his little eyes.

Could the loss of everyone he loves have caused my precious little boy to have something called "failure to thrive"? If so, can our love for him cause him to "thrive" again? I wish I knew all the answers. All I do know is that we have one very special little boy in our lives.

Happy New Year

What an exciting day for the boys. They participated in a program that their Mandarin class had at the Arlington Chinese Church. The highlight was when the Chinese Consulate from Houston spoke and sang a song for us. It was called something like, It's good to be Chinese.

Hope you can pick out the boys in the pictures. Weilong is the smallest in his class, wearing a red vest. Weifu is the small boy on the front row of his class, with his shirt hanging out from under his vest. I wish I could have signaled him to tuck it in, but isn't he nice looking anyway??

Finally, It's Official

We had our day in court today. The boys' adoptions are final. They were in rare form, Weilong even stuck his tongue out at the judge. And he answered "yes" very loudly for me when the judge asked me if I would be his mother and love him always, causing a ripple of laughter in the courtroom.

Both boys learned to write their new last name. And I'm letting all the kids take a holiday from school today. They begged and begged and I just couldn't say no. The girls are doing some homework right now and the boys are studying for Sunday's program at Mandarin school so I don't think the day will be wasted.

The boys love the bears given to them by the judge.

Oh, and I just had to include the picture of Lisa all tied up in knots. We have all laughed and laughed over that picture. And the last picture is of the girls at the skating rink a couple of weeks ago.

Galveston, oh Galveston

The boys have been begging to see the ocean. So, since we were at the Snowflakes 8th reunion in Houston, we just couldn't resist driving over to Galveston so they could get their first glimpse of the gulf. WeiLong kept insisting that they be allowed to go swimming, but the temperature was in the 50's. Finally, after they all got their shoes and jeans wet, we let them take their shoes off and wade in a little.

So, we spent some of the most hours we have ever had. I loved watching them cavort on the beach. They ran and jumped and skipped and splashed and laughed and yelled. They all want to live near the ocean now, so we may have to pull up stakes and move!

WeiLong wanted to catch one of the birds and cook and eat it. And both boys wanted to go fishing. The girls gathered many shells to bring home, and they found beautiful sand dollars. The boys spent lots of time trying to dig little crabs out of the sand. We could have easily stayed all day, but unfortunately they had to be at school the next day and we had a long long drive ahead of us. So, we reluctantly drug them away from the water and started the long drive home. I failed to bring extra pants, so we had to put them all in their pajama bottoms for the drive home. We must have looked weird when we stopped for potty breaks and they were wearing pj's in the middle of the day. Years ago that may have bothered me, but now I don't even bat an eye. I think as we get older we cease to care what others think of us. I was just feeling blessed to have the opportunity to share this special day with my little ones. I think we made memories for a lifetime.

Each child has their own unique take on every adventure. The girls were happily planning a vacation at the beach for next summer, and talking excitedly about their shells and sand dollars. WeiLong was talking excitedly about the "big water" and the birds and fishes, just happy to have finally seen an ocean. Another of his precious dreams had been realized. He seems to be living in a fairy world where his dreams can come true. Bicycles, remote control toy cars, a family who loves him, AND the ocean? Too good to be true.

Poor WeiFu said he was disappointed because he expected the water to be more blue, we didn't have a bucket and shovel for him, and he was sure the oceans in China were much nicer. I was shocked when he told me all this because he seemed to be having just as much fun as the others while we were there. I know he is happy with us. He told our social worker that he likes us and wants to stay here with us, all before she had a chance to ask him. But I suspect he is grieving for China. He always talks about what a great country China is, much better than America. His one big goal in life seems to be a trip to Beijing. He talks about it and dreams of going there the same way I do about going to Heaven. I hope to save up enough money to take the boys back in a few years for a visit. But in the meantime I want him to love life and enjoy being loved and cared for and experiencing new things. I know he does most of the time, but I also know he misses the country in which he was born.

So, they all took naps on the ride home. And they were much better in the van than we thought. What a sweet little family we have. I'll be corny for a moment (after all it IS my blog). I am finding out that being surrounded by a large family who all love me is a wonderful thing. Instead of feeling crowded and overworked I feel loved and safe and so comfortable with them all around me. I love to hear their little voices discussing something, love each one's perspective. I admit sometimes the mountains of laundry are overwhelming, and I get sick of cooking all those meals and washing all that hair, and money seems to just disappear sooner than we can make it. But the rewards are oh so sweet.

Riding our New Bikes

Happy Birthday WeiLong

I've never seen anyone as excited as WeiLong on his birthday. He told me months ago that he has never had a birthday cake or a birthday present. He has counted down the days and finally his birthday arrived!

Gary had to be on a jobsite today, so I took the kids out to their favorite place to eat, HoHo Kitchen. The sign out front is both Chinese and English and the boys could read the Chinese characters the first time we passed by.

WeiLong doesn't like chocolate very much, so he choose a Vanana cake which is what he calls vanilla. And he definitely wanted the works which included candles and sprinkles. It's funny that all the kids want me to make their cakes, no store bought cakes for them.

WeiLong insisted on cutting the cake himself and serving it. He was a very good host. He went around the room asking each person if they liked the cake, and if they wanted more. What a precious little boy we have. He gave me lots of hugs and kisses and thank you's for the cake and birthday present.

Happy Birthday Jesus

Just as God gave the Gift of His Son on that first Christmas, we also give gifts to those we love on that special day. I'm afraid I was too excited to take many pictures. But the memory of this Christmas will live long in my heart. It was the boys' first Christmas in America.